Thursday, August 20, 2009

Content with my choices

At the beginning of the year I decided to be happy. I wasn’t particularly UNHAPPY before I decided to be happy. Every once in a while I’d get those moods or those events that would ruin the rest of the day or even week. I didn’t want any more ruined days. I especially didn’t want any more ruined weeks.

When someone gave me good news about their life I wanted to be genuinely happy for them, not jealous and bitter. When something happened to make me angry or offended I decided in that critical moment not to react negatively. I decided instead to shake off my worries and think on good things. Lovely things. What I’m grateful for.

But it all comes down to that moment right after whatever makes you upset happens. In that moment you can choose. Choose to brood and yell and murmur or no matter how much people don’t want to believe it’s possible, you can react graciously, lovingly, happily.

People have noticed the change in me and asked me what’s happened. How do I stay so happy all the time? I have help, through my faith, to choose the right answer. The response usually is, “I couldn’t do that.” Really, I think people just don’t want to. They want to be selfish and throw a fit and be unhappy and want everyone around them to be unhappy as well. I’ll be honest with you. It feels good to give in to that temper tantrum. It feels good to wallow. I understand it’s hard. But it feels better to be happy.

This week has been especially hard for me to stay happy. One nuisance after another more than anything else: running out of checks when rent’s due and having to get the money from the ATM over a number of days, getting pulled over for expired insurance even though I called the insurance company ahead of time and they sent me my current card instead of my new one, working 9-10 hours a day to cover for a co-worker who’s boyfriend just got back from Iraq. Little things can add up to make you unhappy. It’s not that your life is bad, it’s just a bother.

Choosing to be happy this week has been hard. Honestly, it feels better to be happy.

What choices are you making?


  1. I once read a quotation that said Happiness is a choice and I agree. PMS days it is extremely hard to be nice much less happy. :)

  2. I was wondering why you weren't in my Google Reader! But now I know you have a new blog! :D

    I'm choosing to find a church and get involved. That's a big step for me, since I was pretty alienated from Christianity in middle and high school and simply uninterested in college. So it's a big process, especially since I was raised Catholic so all these Protestant customs are new to me. But at the same time I'm excited!

    I'm also choosing to be happy too. :D I got a pretty new journal to help me, hehe.


You are a lovely person.